It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
