pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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