It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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