Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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