You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
