so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
