the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
