ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
