he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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