In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
