pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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