my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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