thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
