idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She is in my trunk
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
