Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
