New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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