My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
