My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
