I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
