Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she peed on how many people?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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