omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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