ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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