I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize