so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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