Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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