You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
