were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
