I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
