thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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