dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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