Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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