And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
