So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
