I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
