Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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