anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
