I need help removing her.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
someone owes me an orgasm
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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