omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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