TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
