So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
