im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
