Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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