I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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