dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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