Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize