Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
