Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
