Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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