Screwed.edu
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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