operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
