i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
