Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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