dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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