I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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