Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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