I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
