she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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