As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
