How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
