if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
