So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
