I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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